My first post of year 2015 is on February. I know I am getting lazier by the days on blogging because updating a blogpost is actually a lot of hassle relative to microblogging platforms such as FB, Twitter, etc. January was also busy for many people because well, it’s early of the year and everyone seemed busy with something new. Second, I was given the task as project leader for a particular project, and that got me a bit jittery and ‘busy’. This is my first role as PL, and now engaged in management role that has crept in and I have to give up a bit of my comfort as a hermit in the laboratory. It’s a refreshing transition though, but that just means I’ve got extra responsibilities in the near future.
I am also going into a project that has elements of quantum mechanics and computational chemistry, which means, what I have got to learnt up on stuffs that has nothing to do with chemistry: computer scripts (oh dear!), and physics. And I thought chemistry was all that was needed in my career after studying super hard to be a Certified Chemist. Now this? But again, it’s all marvelous for the forever-want-to-learn-everything-in-this-world me. Call me jack of all trades (an insult, actually). ut because of this new computational element in chemistry, or whatever that means, I would have to be attached to a company in The Netherlands to learn up these computer scripting. I am delighted to be, for once, not in China. Lol!! So, Leiden Holland, which turns out to be the birthplace of Rembrandt….here I come!
This February would be the first Chinese New Year for me to give out angpows in doubles to relatives, family and friends. Also comes the responsibility to buy all the CNY visiting (‘pai-lin’) stuffs for relatives/family when going visiting during CNY, ranging from abalone, clams, ‘kei-chi’, red dates, fish maw, cookies, peanuts, etc, etc. that is somewhat obligatory and part of the Chinese culture. Married life has changed me rather in this sort of context: making sure I am a good wife, to be a good daughter-in-law, and at the same time still the same ‘interesting’, talkative, fierce daughter to my own parents. Quite a tough job, but I am not complaining; in fact, I am the one who wants to follow back these traditions which is set for thousands of years for our own good, and for good karma (not that I believe in karma, hehehe)
I am also reducing running to ZERO (yes, not bluffing you), because I am trying for a kid just recently. Hormone testosterone rages in my body each time I run long distances, so it’s natural to give up some heavy running/sports to maintain my beautiful estrogen and still-pretty-amazing menstrual cycle. Yes, people said that’s a myth that one must stop doing heavy exercises to get preggers, but old wives tales are something you’d like to know when it comes to pregnancy. I am a scientific person, so, this testosterone vs. estrogen is pretty true, you know. I am willing to give up something to gain something else.
As a woman, we have many limitations but we cannot deny natural demands, and the childbirth ability that deteriorates drastically over time. Many people said I am at a critical age for childbirth which is undeniably true. This instinct to have a kid just crop up all of a sudden. Tell you, this feeling of wanting a baby has never crossed my mind until just recently (after I’ve nothing to study anymore, bored). And hello, it’s not like I’ve not achieve a milestone of running and sports, kan? I have completed over 40++ races throughout my 6 years of running career, so I’ve missed absolutely nothing if I quit. Let’s just say I have done competitive swimming, marathons, triathlons, duathlon, badminton, climbed up Mt Kinabalu, Aikido, traveled some cool places around the world, meet many people. So yes, I have a whole bunch of things in my bucket crossed out: next is having a child.
Nobody can have it all. But a silver-lining always, always appear even if you think you are in a grey cloud of uncertainty. Hanging up my shoes for good may be something drastic to many, but knowing me, I might go running after having a kid or two.
Til then, Ivy-out.